There are days when you feel your buttons are being pushed way too hard.But the last thing you want to do is detonate in bad language and angrygestures! So here you go – our tips on how you can keep cool in varioussituations and come out of it smiling (even if you were boiling inside to beginwith!).
How to keep cool… with your kids
One for the moms: Like it or not, but kids can have a knack for bringing outthe worst in adults. And it may seem easier to just give up and throw in thetowel when dealing with a difficult child, or lose your temper, which isn’texactly ideal.
So how do you keep your cool when your temper is red hot? Try this: Look at thesituation in perspective. Your child may have a reason for lashing out or couldbe having an off day, which is completely normal as we are all entitled. Soinstead of being angry, take a breather and know that your child doesn’t intendto drive you crazy; he or she just needs a little more attention than before.
The other thing that works? Get goofy! Nothing works like being silly. Thisprovides a great distraction and soon everyone–kid and you included–will forgetwhy you’re angry in the first place. Sing a silly song, dance crazily, or justhave a tickle fest. It works all the time.
How to keep your cool… with annoying colleagues
We all have them–annoying colleagues who just say the wrong thing and do thedarnest thing to get on our nerves. From not meeting their end of the bargainto simply not knowing when to shut up, we don’t blame you if there are dayswhen you feel like using the tape to seal your colleague’s mouth shut.
Wait, let go of that masking tape and opt out of violence instead. You don’twant to blow up and be known as the “Crazy One” at work. First things first, toremain calm and to keep your composed professional self–breathe. While yourfirst instinct may be to snap back at your colleague, you’re better offstepping back and taking a deep breath instead. This buys you time to stop youfrom saying something you will regret. If you must, vent to a friend (someonecompletely out of your working zone) over a cup of coffee. Just being able tolet it all out can do wonders to your mood.
Still annoyed? Find your happy place. Whether it is a few minutes on yourfavorite website or moving on to the next level on Candy Crush, taking time outwill distract you from what’s bothering you in the first place, lets you easeyour stress, and help you get back to work in a better mood.
How to keep your cool… when fightingwith your partner
You’re both raising your voices and tempers are rising. But before that fightwith your boyfriend or your husband turns into an all-out argument where you’llboth regret the things that come out from your mouth, try this.
In the article Fighting Happily Ever After by Elizabeth Bernstein from online.wsj.com, Dr. HowardMarkman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver as well asco-author of Fighting for Your Marriage, calls it the “speaker-listenertechnique”. In this technique, Bernstein explains that Dr. Howardsuggests “couples who have adisagreement should call a couple’s meeting,set a time limit of 15 minutes, and discuss the issue at hand. He even suggestsflipping a coin to see who gets to speak first.”
After stating your piece, you should then give your partner the chance tospeak, explaining one’s position. “A lot of times, all you need is to belistened to,” says Dr. Markman. Through this exercise, the resolution will thenbecome obvious, says the good doctor. If not? It’s time to schedule anothermeeting.
Remember the few golden rules of fighting: don’t make it personal, stop tryingto win all the time, and make sure to listen. You’ll soon realize that theargument was for nothing.
How to keep cool… with your kids
One for the moms: Like it or not, but kids can have a knack for bringing outthe worst in adults. And it may seem easier to just give up and throw in thetowel when dealing with a difficult child, or lose your temper, which isn’texactly ideal.
So how do you keep your cool when your temper is red hot? Try this: Look at thesituation in perspective. Your child may have a reason for lashing out or couldbe having an off day, which is completely normal as we are all entitled. Soinstead of being angry, take a breather and know that your child doesn’t intendto drive you crazy; he or she just needs a little more attention than before.
The other thing that works? Get goofy! Nothing works like being silly. Thisprovides a great distraction and soon everyone–kid and you included–will forgetwhy you’re angry in the first place. Sing a silly song, dance crazily, or justhave a tickle fest. It works all the time.
How to keep your cool… with annoying colleagues
We all have them–annoying colleagues who just say the wrong thing and do thedarnest thing to get on our nerves. From not meeting their end of the bargainto simply not knowing when to shut up, we don’t blame you if there are dayswhen you feel like using the tape to seal your colleague’s mouth shut.
Wait, let go of that masking tape and opt out of violence instead. You don’twant to blow up and be known as the “Crazy One” at work. First things first, toremain calm and to keep your composed professional self–breathe. While yourfirst instinct may be to snap back at your colleague, you’re better offstepping back and taking a deep breath instead. This buys you time to stop youfrom saying something you will regret. If you must, vent to a friend (someonecompletely out of your working zone) over a cup of coffee. Just being able tolet it all out can do wonders to your mood.
Still annoyed? Find your happy place. Whether it is a few minutes on yourfavorite website or moving on to the next level on Candy Crush, taking time outwill distract you from what’s bothering you in the first place, lets you easeyour stress, and help you get back to work in a better mood.
How to keep your cool… when fightingwith your partner
You’re both raising your voices and tempers are rising. But before that fightwith your boyfriend or your husband turns into an all-out argument where you’llboth regret the things that come out from your mouth, try this.
In the article Fighting Happily Ever After by Elizabeth Bernstein from online.wsj.com, Dr. HowardMarkman, professor of psychology at the University of Denver as well asco-author of Fighting for Your Marriage, calls it the “speaker-listenertechnique”. In this technique, Bernstein explains that Dr. Howardsuggests “couples who have adisagreement should call a couple’s meeting,set a time limit of 15 minutes, and discuss the issue at hand. He even suggestsflipping a coin to see who gets to speak first.”
After stating your piece, you should then give your partner the chance tospeak, explaining one’s position. “A lot of times, all you need is to belistened to,” says Dr. Markman. Through this exercise, the resolution will thenbecome obvious, says the good doctor. If not? It’s time to schedule anothermeeting.
Remember the few golden rules of fighting: don’t make it personal, stop tryingto win all the time, and make sure to listen. You’ll soon realize that theargument was for nothing.
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